I keep hearing from more people like myself who have sent thousands of dollars to Lifestyle Pets, only to receive a never-ending series of excuses and delays rather than any live animals.

Actually, I've heard from a few other people in the last few weeks. One person actually did receive a cat from Simon Brodie. Was it hypoallergenic? That's hard to say because it died about a week later. Sadly, this is not the first time I've heard about Allerca kittens dying within weeks of their delivery. And, of course, no refund was ever received.

People are also starting to contact me BEFORE they send money to Lifestyle Pets and I'm delighted to inform them about the "customer" experience that I and many other people have been subjected to. (I put the word "customer" in quotation marks because it's hard to figure out if I'm a customer of Allerca if they take my money and then never send me anything.)

All of Simon Carradan's ("Carradan" being another of Simon's pseudonyms) shenanigans may be coming to an end soon though. The FBI has caught wind of Simon's business practices and they have assigned an investigator to the case. It's not clear at this time whether the investigation will also include Carradan Skis.

On a lighter note, I have been informed that one of Simon's latest (and more secretive) ventures is a company called Vimentis. They sell (and, as absurd as this sounds, I am not making this up), openers that one would use to open a screw cap wine bottle. It's the screw cap version of the corkscrew.

Why would one need a device to open a screw cap bottle of wine? According to their web site, for romance.

Simon, you old softy!